Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Remembering - A Thought on Boldness with Age

 As I was driving to work this morning I got to thinking. It started with drums and got to singing which lead me to thinking about my high school choir career.

 Way back in the before time I was a choir girl at my high school. I was .. or am... also afflicted with the tendency to blush at the drop of a hat, but it was worse back then. I'd turn beet red if even a little bit of attention was being paid to me by people I wasn't familiar with or if a lot of attention was being paid to me by people I was familiar with. So, when the teacher asked me to try out for 'Alegra', which was the elite choir at our not so large high school, I declined to do so out of pure mortification.
 
  Being in Alegra meant an audition which I had a difficult enough time doing just for the mixed choir without passing out. Being in Alegra also meant a small group, which translated to more solos per person which was right out. It took my brain a short trip to envision what that would be like! Visions of an entire stadium filled with hard critics armed with smelly tomatoes and slimy cabbage welled up in my mind. Looking back now I realize that it was actually a small high school auditorium which was probably only one quarter full. The seats weren't filled with difficult, compost weilding critics, but parents. Parents who for the most part were there to be supportive, not to be derisive of a bunch of kids.

 Of course now I wonder why I couldn't have just gone for it. I know that it was all in my own mind now and I don't think I could've convinced my former self to do it for all the gold in the world anyway. It's funny how much less we care about who's paying attention to us 'making a fool of ourselves' the older we get. It's hilarious to note what constitutes 'making a fool of ourselves' now versus back then as well.

  Do any of you have similar stories? Have you mellowed with age, as it were?

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